Greensleeves的私人空間

鴨子姐，不知道你的聯絡方法，唯有出此下策……

Got the visa, got home, and never wanna leave again. I’ll upload my diary later. By the way, can anyway teach me how to add pages under pages? Or i’ll consider switching back to html (that means no more feeding).

This is the second day, I handed in the transcript I missed in the application. That consulate said nothing but asked me to come by 3pm tomorrow to get back my passport. Alright, it’s a one-day waiting before the gallo. After changing room as HI’s request, went to metrotown to see an old friend and went to Richmond. It makes me more confuse that WHY PEOPLE ALWAYS GO TO RICHMOND.

I remembered that I said such a sentence when I chated with an old man on the ferry – I have seen the same mountain, same sea and land I used to see at home, I just can’t get there.

Maybe I don’t really need to get back to seattle, I just want to get home, that’s what the H-1B visa all about in my mind.

I may need to rephrase my words from “Travelling” to “getting stuck”.

Yesterday in the US consulate is the worst moment in my life ever in the continent of north America. After graduation for 2 years, the consulate asked me for my transcript…Who would think that people would care after 1x years of school (except you are going back to the school)? Now I know. And then he stamped a “cancelled without rejudice” onto my visa, so I am not eligible to go back home (lilterally). They told me that I have to go back to the US consulate this morning at 8. Print the transcript is not that hard, but the most important is that my transcript is not as good looking as I wish. sigh…(so you really have to study hard if you wanna stay)

The mood is ruined. Suddenly I am overwhelmed by the feeling of lost. After getting my bags from the locker, I headed to Nanaimo (bad move!). Went to horseshoe bay and took the ferry, It is hot even the wind keep blowing and there is air-conditioning in dock. I kept sleeping and no more mood to have sight-seeing. Then what’s the point to be in Nanaimo, what’s the point to go to Tofino? So I headed to the hostel, cancelled the reservation and took the ferry back to Vancouver. Even the scene was great, I saw it but no mood, I should take picture but no mood, I supposed to be happy but no mood.

Tofino no more, because of no mood… ~>_<~

I may be depressed until I get that freaken paper. Why nation? Why border? Why people say they are free if they cannot go to anywhere they want?

I am not free after all. Just a spirit that get stuck in a “looks like beautiful city”.

今晚上Vancouver，不要羨慕，實屬不幸。

10.00am 美國駐溫哥華大使館

鴨子姐介紹得，當然要去一下。不過……

路過而已，Nanaimo BC才是落腳點。

可以的話，Toffino BC才是目的地。

走了，給我五天吧。

當大家上街時，可能在你的腳邊就有一個小小的寶藏。

http://www.geocaching.com

在我家附近就有十多個這樣的geocache，更估不到在回家的路上有三個在我的腳邊。

更好玩的是，這好像不只是美國人的玩兒……

http://www.geocaching.com/seek/cache_details.aspx?guid=392ba0a2-0b45-4cc9-8c46-8c367c1c0c56

這個夠熟悉吧？

Donna話猩叫啦的兩年plan免費送冇得撈啦的Razr V3，但本懶骨頭怕麻煩，還是在T-冇保處看續約，同一款機加五十大元尚算合理。”咪換囉”她順口的一句是輕巧的，問題是：我過不了自己的一關。

正在使用的落雞啦6010是在T-冇保升級留言信箱時免費升級的，也有一年多了。對比以前的冇得撈啦v.60，6010實在是又大又笨重，唯一的好處是畫面轉成了256色顯示屏，不過電話不是要來聽的嗎？但這是T-mobile 免費安排的系統升級也算是無可厚非，也在好友C開始用Messaging 之後不再對V.60有任何留戀。

“6010有對不起你嗎？”是沒有，除了那因為手濕按停鬧鐘而有點失靈的選擇鍵外，它還是我忠心的好員工。現在面對Razr V3的減價和Donna所敘述的理所當然，都在誘惑我成為一個貪新忘舊之徒。

我在借如此的一件小事納悶一陣，當作生活的點綴吧？

我說了我的故事，沒有任何虛構和修飾的人物和情節，心中流著喜悅的淚，不知不覺間，我痊癒了。

希望聽這故事的人，也會很快康復。

活著，要加油。

我和你從不相識，也不會再有機會相識，

但我知道

我曾經和你有機會成為同路人，

我卻選擇活著，

而你，選擇為你一生的最愛墮入輪迴。

如果我與你見面，我會因為你的愛而啞口無言。

無疑，現實的殘酷和異地的寂寥都是催命的符咒，

但無論你的行為是多麼使人齒冷，惋惜，

生著的人都沒有批評的權利。

你是站在自己的棺木上把鑽戒戴上無名指，

以血讓玫瑰變的鮮血，

用生命說”我永遠愛你”。

今晚，縱然酒醉，一夜難寐。

——-

再次覺得，正在生存於其中的世界存著詭異的倒錯感。

愛情，不應該是這樣的，不是專屬自己的事，不是為了個人的快樂和幸福，不是為了感覺良好，刺激神經……

但誰能夠教我們對童話故事再次抱有希望？

誰能夠讓我們再次對世上的愛情燃起希望？

——-

糖，要振作。

忙裏偷閒，在farewell Sabrina之前在餐廳樓下的租了kayak，不理自己還穿著牛仔褲恤衫，穿上防水罩和救生衣就一槳一槳在水上划。風輕得吹不動碧波，卻還是帶走了辦公室的熱氣，從Channel 到 Lake Union，一切到在沉默中，連滴水從槳上滴下的水聲也一清二楚。

從倒影中望著太陽，凝視划槳的號碼，凝視自己 (極度危險，未經訓練人士切勿模仿!)，幾個月以來不安燥動的心終於靜下來。珍惜每一下划槳的發力，如每一步前進的步伐。知道自己每一個前進的發力都得到回報，也許是件值得感恩的事。不用追求四仔，也不需要太多的錢。取之所需，用之有道，生活簡單，就是一種福氣。

讓風把Kayak推回岸邊，遠處望見Kit, Sabrina一行人。他們說很型仔，其實也只是一種生活方式而已。